Garden Coach and the dog fight

"The wisteria and the kiwi are planted right next to each other." 

Only if you garden is this sentence hilarious and terrifying. 

Both are fast growing vines that you cannot turn your back on or they'll engulf the arbor and head for bigger structures like your house and the power lines. Planting them together is like staging a pit-bull dog fight, only in slow motion.

"Mesdames et monsieurs, fait vos jours."

I'm off as garden coach to help the couple who inherited this dog fight.