The Gardener's Prayer

Chard and red flax in the garden above.

This is best read out loud. It's funny because it is too true.

If it were of any use, every day the gardener would fall on his knees and pray somehow like this: "O Lord, grant that in someway it may rain everyday, say from about midnight until three o'clock in the morning, but you see, it must be gentle and warm so that it can soak in, grant that at the same time it would not rain on campion, alyssum, helianthemum, lavender and the others which in your infinite wisdom know are drought-loving plants---I will write their names on a bit of paper if you like- and grant that the sun may shine the whole day long, but not everywhere (not, for instance, on spirea, or on gentian, plantain lily, and rhododendron) and not too much: that there may be plenty of dew and little wind, enough worms, no plant lice and snails, no mildew, and that once a week thin liquid manure and guano may fall from heaven. Amen."

From the Gardener's Year by Karel Capek.